Blocked 2: Electric Blockaloo

Hey there ‘Redheads… Once again, I’ve allowed sloth to trip me up with its three toes of sluggishness and keep me from bringing you timely bloggage. In fairness, I do suffer from OFS… Occasional Fatigue Syndrome. Plus, I was busy celebrating the 40th anniversary of the lunar landing and had a wicked tangover.

As promised, here’s part two of whatever I felt like was worth continuation. Before I get things started, please direct your attention to the shiny new widget on the right hand side of the page. I know, they don’t like to be called “widgets”…they prefer “little windows”. That right there is a digital portal to my fan page on Facebook. So, when you check out a new installment of the blog, you can check out the fan page…telling you to check out the new installment of the blog. Ain’t technology neat? It also gives you easy access to other news that I’ll probably put on here anyway… Looks cool, though…right?

Speaking of way cool technology that can keep you in a perpetual loop, let’s hop in the fuzzy recollection machine and take a trip back to July 4th to strain our eyes at the blurred and hazy events. To celebrate our nation’s independence, my intrepid band of friends and I took a trip to Coney Island to witness the gluttonous grudge match known as the Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest


Fellow spectator, Chris White, also wrote a crackerjack blog about the experience, so please to be checking that out after you get done here to get the full processed meat mosaic. So, as you can tell from the picture, we got a pretty good spot among the huddled masses to check out the action. In order to get that spot, we had to get there early. Getting there early meant waiting in the hot sun while event MC George Shea whipped the crowd into a feeding frenzy. Check this guy out…

There was plenty of pregame entertainment to keep the mob in check. The circus was in town, and they lent their trampoline artist to wow the crowd with some death defying…bouncing really high…
…which was made all the more treacherous, because she could’ve been blinded by the sun glinting off that guy’s head. Back off, Lex, it only looks like she can fly. There was also music…and guys dressed in giant hot dog costumes dancing to that music…

Then it came time for the ESPN cameras to swoop in to cover these masters of mastication. If you’re wondering what caliber of sportscaster the Super Bowel of competitive eating draws…

You may’ve noticed that it’s called the international hot dog eating contest, in much the same way the house of pancakes is. Really, the only competitor that made the contest international was former six time champion, Takeru Kobayashi of Japan. Which is mildly ironic since the atomic bomb we dropped on Japan is probably indirectly responsible for his superhuman eating abilities. Kobayashi’s story is actually quite inspirational. Apparently, one of the characters from Dragon Ball Z wished to be a real boy…but I digress. This year, though, another combatant from abroad entered the fray, from Italy. But really, the other competitors were a gassy afterthought. This was a showdown between Kobayashi and reigning champion, Joey Chestnut…
It was 10 straight minutes of brutal buffet. When the crumbs settled, Joey Chestnut emerged the victor, having crammed 68 buns and dogs down his gullet. He also took about ten years off his life. God bless America.

One thing I couldn’t understand was other peoples’ reaction when I told them I went to Coney Island for the contest. Invariably, their response was, “Did you compete?” Yeah, I was going to, but I had to back out…damn TMJ.

If you have nothing to do on Sunday, the 26th, might I recommend a great FREE comedy show? 7:30 at Union Jack’s in Bethesda, Will Hessler, Bey Wesley, Jimmy Merrit, and Rob Maher will take the stage for your amusement. I’ll be your host. Come laugh at us. Click here for all the details…

More to come…

Advertisements