Weekend Roundup

G’morning, ‘Redheads… I’m bright-eyed, bushy tailed, and I’m lying to you about those first two things, but I’m at the very least awake and able to type. I have to get this blog on the books early today, because my evening is spoken for and I can’t guarantee I’ll be home by midnight to keep the streak alive. Why so busy on a Monday night, you ask? Well, starting at noon today, the trivia arm of the entertainment company I work with, District Entertainment, is attempting to break the world record for the Longest Quizmaster Marathon at Caddie’s in Bethesda. The previous record is 32 hours and 15 minutes, so if all goes well, we’ll be finishing up tomorrow night at 8:00ish. I’m not the lead question asker, but I’ll be there assisting after I take my nose off the grindstone. If you want to wrangle a team to try to win the top prize of $1000, click here for all the details.

Since I don’t have a Monday’s worth of blather to blog about, I need to tap into my weekend reserves. On Saturday, I met up with pals, Chris, Allyson, and Eric to check out the Blessing of the Fleets at the Navy Memorial, where water from the seven seas is poured into the fountain in a ceremony to make sure our naval forces sail smoothly this year. Afterwards, the crowd was treated to Navy Bean soup, prepared by the White House Mess, which, with a little Texas Pete’s hot sauce, was delicious. They also gave out boxes of Presidential M&M’s. Needless to say, I went through the line twice. Before the ceremony, we got a picture with the Naval Academy mascot, Bill the Goat.We figured we had filled our costume photo quota, but as we walked through Penn Quarter, we ran into famed crime dog, McGruff.We felt safer knowing he was on whatever case there was to be on. Sniffing the butt of justice. When you get one picture with a mascot, it’s fun and random. Once we got two, it became a mission to complete the set. Luckily for us, the Sakura Matsuri Japanese Street Festival was going on nearby. Not only did it seem like a fun thing to check out, but we knew it would be a treasure trove of freaks in costume. It did not disappoint…We also missed the chance to get a picture with a Japanese NASCAR driver. A novelty to be sure, but he didn’t meet our arbitrary qualifications of a cartoonishly large head and unblinking eyes. Aside from the anime, there was all manner of Japanese culture spread out over several blocks, from calligraphy to samurai sword demonstrations. Well worth the $5 admission. And all of the proceeds went toward tsunami relief, so we could feel good about ourselves to go along with our sushi. Good times.

See you Tuesday. Or at the big trivia event tonight.

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Diggin’ Out

Hey there, ‘Redheads… Is everyone enjoying your snow day? Unfortunately, I had to go to work today, but since everybody else was socked in, my commute was a breeze. A stiff cold breeze. But the roads were clean and clear. I guess people didn’t abandon their cars on my route to work. I can’t believe people did that. Maybe I’m just spoiled with four-wheel drive, but in blizzard conditions, I’d rather be in a heated metal shell than out. How do all you snooty Prius owners feel about our gas guzzlers now, huh? The environment doesn’t care what you’re trying to do for it. Case in point, my buddy Nick, who swapped his hybrid with his mother’s 4×4 to make sure his car didn’t slip into an embankment. While he was able to get around during the storm, a tree fell an crushed his hybrid in his mom’s driveway. What I’m saying is, you owe it to yourself to put nature in it’s place. Go spray some aerosol.

I’d like to get in on the snowings-on, so I think I’ll attempt a roof deck snowman when I get home. Happy to not be one of the 400,000 people without power in the DC area. If I were still living at the former Stately Stern Manor, I’d probably be in Amish country too. Hopefully, you’re still able to read the blog by candlelight.

For those of you who gave my trivia questions a go, here are the answers…

1. Who is the only actor that has been killed by a Terminator, an Alien, and a Predator? That would be Bill Paxton, who bought it in Aliens, Predator 2, and he was in Terminator. He was one of the punks that Arnold killed for their clothes in the beginning…

2. What movie did Steven Speilberg give Dan Aykroyd a cameo in to thank him for putting Speilberg in Blues Brothers? Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Aykroyd is the guy that greets Indy at Lao Che’s air field.

3. Who was originally cast as Marty McFly in Back to the Future, but was fired three weeks into filming and replaced by Michael J. Fox? Eric Stoltz.

4. Who holds the world record for playing the longest note ever recorded on a saxophone? Kenny G, who, using circular breathing, held an E-flat for 45 minutes and 47 seconds.

5. Which living actor has made the most films to date? Not Samuel L. Jackson. Not even close. He only has 107 films to his credit. The correct answer is Christopher Lee, who at the age of 89 has appeared in over 260 films.

Hope you liked ’em. Maybe we’ll make this a regular feature on here. Or not. See you Friday.

Bloggin’ in a Winter Wonderland

Hey there, ‘Redheads… Well, I guess the people in the snow business finally got their bulk shipment in. Everyone’s inner five year old roots for the white stuff until it snarls traffic and keeps your outer thirtysomething on the beltway for three hours. It sure is pretty, though. I usually host a trivia night in Bethesda on Wednesday nights, which got shelved because I place a higher priority on not dying on a drive home to Capitol Hill at 10pm. My priorities are way out of whack. Since I didn’t get a chance to ask pointed pointless questions for points, why don’t I lay some triviality on you, the snowbound reader? That question was rhetorical and does not count. Try not to google the answers…

1. Who is the only actor that has been killed by a Terminator, an Alien, and a Predator?

2. What movie did Steven Speilberg give Dan Aykroyd a cameo in to thank him for putting Speilberg in Blues Brothers?

3. Who was originally cast as Marty McFly in Back to the Future, but was fired three weeks into filming and replaced by Michael J. Fox?

4. Who holds the world record for playing the longest note ever recorded on a saxophone?

5. Which living actor has made the most films to date?

Answers tomorrow. ‘Til then…

The Thrill, the Agony, and the Indifference…

Hey there ‘Redheads… It’s been awhile, but let’s just assume the apology is implied and move on…ever forward. Breaking news on this Monday, the 20th as Mike Vick has plead guilty and now faces a bit of jail time. Here now are some of the hack Mike Vick jokes that you have to look forward to for the next 2 to 5 years…

He was known for being a quarterback in the NFL, but in jail he’ll be a tight end…
He got in trouble for killing dogs, now he’s going to be someone’s bitch…
When white folks kill a dog, they pay a vet to do it…they also drive cars and talk differently.

…aaaaaaand scene. Enough of that. When last I got around to filling this space, I was gearing up for a couple of contests. When it comes to comedy competitions, the world is my oyster…and boy, do I shuck. No win, place, or show. I’m over it now, but I was a smidge bummed after my performance at the HBO Comedy Fest contest at the DC Improv. I was flattered to be there at all, but I was hoping I could back up the selection with a solid outing. The set started out well but, somewhere in my 8 minutes, I lost the crowd. They stopped reacting with laughter and gave me more of an “oh, isn’t that cute” reaction. Those who saw it say it wasn’t anything to be ashamed of but, in my head, I might as well have been chowing down on a turd hoagie during the last half of my set. My mettle got smelted and I got frazzled, so there goes my latest attempt to get free HBO. A big congratulations to Chris White and Erin Jackson, who got picked to represent DC in the regionals.

I had to quench my thirst for winnable competition…I was parched. Luckily, I was able to find an arena where I could flex my brain meat and come out on top. Trivia. I went with some friends to compete in some team bar trivia at Solly’s on U St. In round one, our team, Made in China, tied for third. Respectable, but I wanted to do some neck stepping. Round two saw us take the top spot (we tied for first) and with it a bottle of red wine…the fermented grapes of victory. Here are some of the more impressive answers I was able to scoop out of my skull…

Q: In Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet, what are the ten syllables that follow “Wherefore art thou, Romeo”?
A: De-ny thy fa-ther and re-fuse thy name.

Q: In Beverly Hills Cop, what were the names of the two detectives who assist Axel Foley?
A: Taggart and Rosewood.

Q: In 1938, Roy Plunkett accidentally discovered this chemical compound with an extremely low coefficient of friction. Its scientific name is polytetrafluoroethylene. What is it more commonly known as?
A: Teflon.

I am smart. S-M-R-T.

And I’m an idea guy too. I came up with the next great disaster/action movie. In the not so distant future, an eccentric billionaire coverts a decommissioned aircraft carrier into the first floating sports arena. He somehow gets the SuperBowl in there. Mayhem ensues. Die Hard meets Titanic meets Rudy. It’ll be a can’t-miss-adrenaline-fueled-thrill-ride.

If you’re around northern New Jersey this weekend, come check me out at Banana’s. Should be fun. There’s very little on the line, so I shouldn’t tank.

To be continued…