To the Nines…

Hey there ‘Redheads… It’s 9/09/09 (at least it was when I started writing this), a once in a hundred years event. So, I figure why not write a blog that is just as mediocre as the last hundred? Somehow, it got to be September already, when I’m pretty sure it was June a couple weeks ago. Right on cue, after Labor Day, a shroud of gloom has swept across the land. It’s cold and gray and downright dismal outside. Allow this beacon of mild amusement to be a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. I just bought new ribbons for my 1000 monkeys’ typewriters…time to rattle their cage.

For me, these last couple days have been consumed with circumventing reality. I’ve had four fantasy football drafts in the last week, and I’m itching to let the stats fly on the delusional gridiron. I won’t bore you with in-depth analysis, I’ll just share my favorite of my four team names…The Minnesota Vicarious. I’m just happy that the NFL is back in all of its grass stained glory. I’ve had enough of tennis and soccer and baseball. Let’s kickoff and hit something.

I’m also pretty excited because I found evidence to disprove gravity…

Someone give this guy a mascot contract…or a ninja outfit. And let me take this time to emphasize that the videos I slap on this blog are to enhance the overall blog experience. Watch them. Just a public service message, because I think alot of you just skim and leave the links and videos alone. They’re eye candy for you to suck on. Just saying is all…

Speaking of sour eye candy, while channel surfing the other day, I landed on the SyFy opus, Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus. The movie had some pretty innovative concepts, like using a cardboard stand-up of Lorenzo Lamas for all of his scenes. If Lamas was any more wooden, they could’ve used him for kindling. I know the economy is tight, but they’ve gotta find some way of bumping up these SyFy effects budgets. I’ve seen better visual effects on a Lite Brite. I could’ve concocted more compelling action sequences with a flip camera, a Jaws poster, and a wacky wall walker. It did offer one pretty cool visual, though…

Enough with the bad acting. I present to you a genuine adorable 3-year-old who has it all figured out. She has taken the phenomena of Facebook and Twitter and distilled them to their essence with a song…

That’s pretty much what it is. We are all 3-year-olds clamoring for attention without really knowing why.

Quick reminder: I’m opening for God’s Pottery @ DC9 on Sunday, the 13th. I’m hoping to see some friendly faces out there, because DC9 is primarily a music venue. Music crowds don’t know how to behave when stand-up hits the stage. I need you guys to keep those chattering hipsters in line. Click here for tix and info. See you there…

To be continued…

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