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Hey there, ‘Redheads… Spring is over and Summer has arrived. The year is halfway over and it’s about this time I try to take stock of what I’ve accomplished so far. Well, thanks to my buddy, Chris White, I was able to accomplish something big right before the equinox. Last weekend, he recorded his new CD and I opened the show for him. Since he was gracious enough to have tape rolling during my set too, I ended up recording a new album as well. Not sure what to call it yet, but I’m hoping to have something consumable for my dozens of rabid fans soon. Ok, maybe not rabid. My slightly interested fans. Stay tuned.

The big news this week is the death of jackass of all trades, Ryan Dunn, perhaps best known for putting a toy car in his butt for our amusement. Jackass is one of my guilty pleasures. I used to pretend I was above it back in their heyday with MTV, but then my housemate sat me down and made me watch the movie and I sharted, I laughed so hard. It’s always a shock when a 34 year old is cut down in his prime, but considering his line of work, this one wasn’t that big a surprise. He got paid to reenact Wile E. Coyote cartoons with his friends. In our morbid heart of hearts, I think we all knew one of them was going to die young, but I just thought it would be on set. I guess the only thing shocking about this senseless tragedy is that it wasn’t more senseless. It was just a car wreck. A spectacular wreck, but I would’ve expected him to meet his end covered in peanut butter on a pair of rocket skates or something. There was a headline that ran on AOL today that read, “Ryan Dunn’s Cause of Death Confirmed.” That really took a medical examiner a day to figure that out? The only way this qualifies as news is if the coroner says, “Yeah, turns out it was complications from pneumonia.” And now comes news that the Westboro Baptist Church is going to picket the funeral. Good. This is the wrong group of mourners to fuck with. If they don’t get a septic tank full of angry bees dumped on them, I’ll be disappointed. Ryan, we hardly knew ye.

I’m getting back into mash-ups recently and I found two good ones for you to stick in your ear holes. You get videos too…

See you soon.

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21

Hey there ‘Redheads… I’ve got about 13 minutes to get Day 21 of Blog-A-Day in May in the books so I can keep this streak alive. In lieu of an amusing anecdote, I thought I’d take a couple whacks at the musical pinata and let some delicious ear candy pour out. So, fire up your iPods and enjoy the flowing tapestry of toe-tappery…

The Devil’s Highway
AC/DC – Highway To Hell
Van Halen – Runnin’ With The Devil, I’m The One, And The Cradle Will Rock, Eruption

Metallica Goes To Punjab
Metallica – The Four Horsemen
Punjabi MC – Mundian Back To Me

Maiden Goes To Hollywood
Iron Maiden – The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Frankie Goes to Hollywood – Relax, Welcome to the Pleasuredome

And, because Terminator: Salvation is now in a theater near you…
Bale Out
The Christian Bale rave out remix

See you tomorrow…

Stuff For Ye

Hey there ‘Redheads… With September in the rear-view mirror, we’re motoring through the happy town of Blogtober. Population: You. Try not to muck the place up too much while you’re here. This is why we can’t have nice things. Speaking of driving, my Jeep hit 90,000 miles today. It’s a mixed bag when your car reaches a milestone like that. On the one hand, it’s pretty cool watching the odometer flip to zeros. On the other hand, I’ve driven 90,000 miles and where the fuck am I? Makes ya think…and who wants that?
I have a bunch of random stuff for you this time out…some cool audio, some funny video, and a couple other nuggets to help pad this installment…shove some tangerines in its training bra.

Let’s start with the audio. You might remember awhile back, I tried to play mama bird and regurgitate some iPod food into your chirping beaks. Well, I found some kick ass new mash-ups for you to jam in your ear holes. Eat, ya jackals…

WHOLE LOTTA SABBATH (Led Zepplin vs. Black Sabbath)
THUNDER BUSTERS (AC/DC vs. Ray Parker Jr.)
HALLOWED BE THEY ENEMY (Iron Maiden vs. Public Enemy)
METALLICA GOES TO PUNJAB (Metallica vs. Punjabi MC)

Ok, now the video. I forget where I found this, but I got a kick out of it, so I figured I’d pass it on to you guys. If you’re a die hard fan of…well, Die Hard, you’ll get a chuckle from this little ditty…

And now, some of the afore mentioned nuggetude… ATTENTION GEEKS!! Check this shit out…


A group of aerospace engineers in California have constructed a scale model of an X-Wing that actually flies. Here’s an excerpt from their website:

It is over 21′ long, with a wingspan of over 19′ – “We opted to use a cluster of four motors to emulate the “real” X-wing, and positioned the motors in the wing pods. The real challenge was to make the wings move in flight, from “attack” position to “landing” position. Late additions to the project included making R2D2 turn via radio & make sounds.

If I have to tell you how cool that is, then I don’t know if we can be friends anymore… The X-Wing takes flight on October 6th…and will make a flippin’ sweet YouTube video when in crashes shortly thereafter…

One more thing before I go. Your comedy homework this weekend is to go see Jake Johanssen at the DC Improv. My good friends John Garrett and Chris White are opening for him. Three gawky white guys. A parade of pasty. Luckily, they’re damn funny. Go. Laugh.

To be continued…

Mayhap

Hey there ‘Redheads… Welcome to the first day of the last 2/3rds of this year. I’ve often found that time seems to pick up the pace when you have something to look forward to. If that’s true, May should be done in a couple days. I’ve got at least one show every weekend this month, and the capper is a big one. May also begins what I call The Gauntlet…a series of birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays that conspire to turn me into a stock tip for Hallmark investors over the next three months. It starts with Mother’s Day, and I’ve already complicated things by signing up for one of the many things in May I’m looking forward to on that Sunday…I’m going hang gliding. And, yes, I’ll be the prick wearing the Superman shirt…don’t judge me. Anyway, more on that as it gets closer. I had 3 shows over the weekend that when the audience reunion is held next year, it could be held in an overhead storage compartment.

The first show was the sophomore outing for the new Taglines enterprise, run by my comedy compadres Mike Shader and Sean Joxe. It’s a cool little room inside the Fire Rock Grill in Columbia, MD. If you’re up that way, go check ’em out on a Thursday night. The first show they had was packed…this night suffered from a small sophomore slump. The crowd was about 12 people…until four of them, for some reason, got up and left. A general comedic rule of thumb, when it comes to crowd size, is that numbers are easily compensated for by exuberance. I’ll take a fun 20 over a disinterested 150 any day of the week. Those that stuck around were there to have a good time and they more than made up for softball team-like attendance. They were like the Spartans of laughter. The press came out to cover the show for a local Columbia paper, so hopefully word will spread and they can get a regular following.

The show on Friday was a fun gig opening for local sketch group DCUP and the Bostonian Late Night Players at the Arlington Drafthouse (please click on at least one of those…I’m slave over a hot keyboard for you people…). DCUP put on a show called the Boneless Chicken Cabaret, consisting of three guys in giant chicken suits who cluck through each of their sketches, while random audience members are plucked from the crowd to become part of the act. Easily, the most bizarre thing I’ve seen in a week (top 5, at least). Frank Perdue on peyote buttons…that’d be the best way to describe it. After they got done, the Players took the stage and put on their own bit of inspired lunacy. Afterward, the lot of us went next door for Thai food.

Yep…pretty sketchy.

I’d never had Thai food before, and I was mesmerized by the exotic sounding names of the dishes. I asked about the crispy squid and it sounded delicious, so I ordered it. I ate the crispy squid and it was delicious (my kingdom to whoever got that very very very obscure musical reference). Anyway, so yeah…the crispy squid was damn good…and spicy. The Thai like their squid HOT. Great going down, the opposite of great coming out. It felt like somebody lit Sigmund the Sea Monster on fire, then he hopped on the Great Space Coaster out of my ass. Turd flambe.

For those of you who weren’t toddlers in the 70’s

Enough poo talk. Besides being very cool guys, the Players hipped me to a cool sonic treasure trove where they get their scene change music from. They use mash-ups. Add that to my list of “Things I Wish I Could Do”, right under last month’s entry: lightsaber videos. I found some kick ass tunes that’ve been frankensteined together by DJ’s worldwide. Here are four of my favorite to tickle your tympanic membranes:
Call Me Phantom
Whole Lotta Sabbath
Champ in Black
Madonna’s Carcass
Put that in your iPod and smoke it. You’re welcome.

The last show of the weekend was at Ned Devine’s Irish Epcot Village over in Sterling, VA. Herbie Gill, the two Tylers, Sonnichsen and Richardson, young Jermaine Fowler, and I took the stage for a show that so few people saw that it might just be a myth. When we got there, there was a family of four sitting dead center…mom, dad, and the two kids…they lasted about 5 minutes. That left three couples. One sat in front, just to the right of the stage, and the other two held down the back of the room on either side. It created a Bermuda Triangle where laughter was lost, never to be heard from again. Actually, that’s not true. The six that stuck it out up through my feature set were attentive, responsive, and laughed audibly. Then, the back two tables up and left…and one of the two sitting up front went to the bathroom, leaving one person in the crowd for Herbie’s set. ‘Redheads, I’m here to tell you that Herbie Gill is a fuckin‘ pro. He took the mic, sat down at the table with the one person, and did a casual, intimate, and hilarious show. A few more tables filled up during his set, and they were enthralled and entertained. And Herbie did this with a stomach flu that had him sipping iced gatorade because that’s all he could keep down. It was a clinic.

That’s all for now.

To be continued…