Technocrap

Hey there ‘Redheads… It’s Day 18 of Blog-A-Day in May, and I’m caught in a quandary…a technological quagmire…and a couple other huge Scrabble moves. On the one hand, I got a brand new cell phone, with 3G technology that puts the world at my fingertips. However, these fingertips might as well be on the one hand of an Amish guy who just awoke from a five decade long coma. These fancy blinking lights frighten and confuse me…and these buttons are proud. I am at the mercy of these machines of convenience. Do you know what I realized today? I don’t know anyone’s actual phone number. I just push the button and take completely for granted that this tiny box will call my friends and family. When the possibility that my contact list might not transfer from my old phone to my new one, my left arm went numb. I felt like Burgess Meredith from that Twilight Zone episode where he’s the last man on earth, he has all of the books he could ever want to read and all the time to read them, then his glasses break. Of course, you probably haven’t seen it, since it was a black and white episode and Burgess Meredith wasn’t training Rod Serling to fight Clubber Lang.

Not only am I behind the curve with the phones, but I can’t get a goddamn video to upload. My computer can only handle the frame rate of a flip book, apparently. I picked up an HD video camera in the hopes of becoming a YouTube sensation. I recorded my above average performances from the Improv over the weekend. When I try to input the footage into my computer, it’s like trying to force feed an elephant…to a smaller elephant. So, no I don’t have any video reconnaissance of my great shows at the DC Improv. I may instead convey it through interpretive dance. Stay tuned.

Big thanks to the DC Improv for another amazing slate of shows. For those of you who watch Dancing With the Stars, check out Tuesday’s show. Jeff Ross will be roasting the three finalists and I’m hoping he uses the joke I gave him. It’s a fat joke aimed at Steve Wozniak about how the stars on the show orbit him. Keep an ear peeled. If I can figure out how to turn on the television, I’ll be watching too…

See ya then…

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