Hi At Us

Hey there ‘Redheads… You still out there? It’s me… I know, where the hell have I been? I’ve left you in the digital lurch since mid-March. I was 0-for-April. What can I say? Zyrtec is a hell of a drug. I’d like to take this time to remind all of you to help control the pollen count. Have your trees spayed or neutered. I’ve been pollinated into a slo-mo haze… That, coupled with a work ethic that I lovingly refer to as “slothy,” elevated my already potent powers of procrastination to superhuman levels. I was putting off stuff that had already happened. Seriously, this pollen is slowly choking the life out of me. It’s not so much that I’m allergic, but my lungs are filling up with this crap. But, for you, I’m sucking it up, or as best I can without my lungs seizing up, and getting back on the blog horse. With a week already wasted in May, I figured it was time to brush the dust off and get things back in gear before we reach a point of no return. So, let’s get caught up, shall we?

I’d like to congratulate Horatio Sans on his appointment to the Supreme Court…

Nice to see he found work. I’ve never been very politically minded, but I also never look a gift fat joke in the mouth, lest it try to cram me down its gullet. Anyone else find it mildly ironic that she’ll be casting judgement on the loftiest issues that face us and we’re judging her because she looks like she should have a pet rancor under a trap door in the courtroom? I’m looking forward to the movie version of the Elena Kagan story, Paul Blart: Supreme Court Justice.

Speaking of insatiable hunger, I unfurled my dork flag and participated in a zombie walk back on Cinco de Mayo (I’m glad that Cinco de Mayo fell on May 5th this year). The man who created the zombie movie, George Romero, was in town to unveil his recent undead undertaking, Survival of the Dead. So, a shamble of zombies assembled at the Greene Turtle next to Verizon Center for a bloody good time…
This was my first foray into having a social afterlife, and I was way out of my league in the make up department. I just popped open a fake blood capsule and smeared it all over my face…Not exactly Tom Savini quality, but it got the job done. And, it turns out, it’ll end up in the annals of zombie schlock, because the zombie walkers and I ended up as extras in an independent horror/comedy flick called My Boring Zombie Apocalypse. When portraying the walking dead, I prefer to go the method acting route. Act hungry. When we were done moaning and shuffling through Chinatown, we ended up at the Gallery Place theaters for a screening of Romero’s new movie and a Q & A with the man himself…The movie was just ok for a guy who created the genre. I’ve taken more of a shine to the modern day hardcore sprinter zombies of Zombieland and 28 Days Later that the remake of his Dawn of the Dead begat, so maybe I found his zombies to be old fashioned. Don’t get me wrong, both will use your intestines for bloody Mardi Gras beads, but today’s walking dead don’t make you wait as long.

That’s all for now. More soon. No, seriously. I mean it this time. Wait right here…

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