Yesvember

Ah, the power of positive titling. ‘Redheads, November started so full of promise. Two blogs in four days. Then, my usual sloth sets in and here I am apologizing to you two weeks later. So, I’m gonna try to write…tonight tonight tonight…whoa whoa. So, I have a couple cool things to report. I was hoping to have some cool pictures to go along with the report, but I missed out on a pair of prime celebrity photo ops. Instead, I’ll be peppering in some other pictures that I’ve already collected to spice up all these hum drum words.

Let’s wind back the clock to last Monday, when I had the distinct honor of paying tribute to the Class Clown, George Carlin. My dad scored some tickets to the Mark Twain Prize at the Kennedy Center. We got there about a half hour before the doors opened and we found our way to the red carpet, where the celebrity presenters were being interviewed by the various media. We got there in time to see walking mannequin, Joan Rivers, wave and attempt to smile at the amateur paparazzi that lined the hallway, snapping away with cameras and cellphones. Then came my first missed photo op, when Lewis Black walked down the aisle and was taking pictures with some people nearby. I was about three or four deep in back of the crowd, so by the time I got close enough to muster up the courage to say something to him, he was on his merry way. So, instead, here’s a picture of me with Judah Friedlander


After we saw Denis Leary, Jon Stewart, and Lily Tomlin make their way through the media gauntlet, we decided to make our way to the main doors. While waiting for them to let us in, I ran into the only other DC comedian that I spotted that night, Brian Jett…wearing a suit…that’s like finding a filthy unicorn. There’s been some controversy over the content of the live show. The clips of Carlin that they showed seemed arbitrarily bleeped. In one clip, “shit” got through, but they bleeped out “goddamn”. And when they played the clip of the seven dirty words, it sounded like Morse code. Seems a little specious to censor a guy who did so much to point out the hypocrisy of censorship. C’mon, Kennedy Center. We’re all adults…take care of that crap in post. Aside from the heartfelt tributes, no opportunity was spared to celebrate the recent victory of Barack Obama. It’s a shame the special won’t air until April. The best line of the night went to Richard Belzer , who claimed to have gotten his hands on Obama’s inaugural address. He then spouted Arabic gibberish…classic (as I type this, he’s on The Daily Show doing the same gag).

My next chance to get snapped with a celebrity came on Saturday. Some of my dork friends and I went to the E St. Cinema to catch a sold out showing of My Name Is Bruce, which basks in the oeuvre of Mr. Evil Dead, Bruce Campbell (in case you were wondering, that’s oeuvre easy). A seemingly never-ending Fantasia broomstick army of pasty white people packed the theater to get a fix of b-movie schlock, mainlined straight into their retinas. Two bloody stumps up, by the way. If you’re at all familiar with his work, you’ll probably get a kick out of it. After the flick, Bruce came out for a Q & A session with the assembled throng. Probing questions about sequels that will never get made, obscure plot points, and hellish film shoots were fielded. Unfortunately, he did not make himself available for pictures afterward. Instead, here’s a picture of me with Henry Rollins…

I saw something today that warmed my cockles as the temperature dips below freezing. I saw a 1 in the dollar place on a gas station price board. That’ll make it easier for us to live out of our cars when our mortgages default. You’re going to want to hang on to those GMs, by the way…they’ll be collector’s items in about a month or so. I think if we’re going to bail out the auto industry, we need to lay down some strict guidelines…like 0% financing for 24 months…we’ll pay off their trade, no matter how much they owe…negative equity applies to new loan balance.

Before I get going, a mazel tov to my best buddy Seth and his wife Alison on the birth of their bouncing baby boy, Ethan. I’ll hopefully have a picture of the little pisher soon. Until then, here’s a picture of me with the Stanley Cup…

I’ll try to get another installment in before Turkey Day.

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Blog-o-ganda

Hey there ‘Redheads… Wow, two whole entries in Blogtober…this thing is really picking up pile of steam…yep, it sure is a steaming pile. I was hoping to find time to hammer out some fresh bloggage and luckily, my cable went out…so here we are. As of the last installment, the economy was in shambles. The Dow sunk like a turd after a beef dinner. And just to show you that no one is immune to this financial faceplant, I found this story the other day…

Playboy to eliminate 55 jobs in cost-cutting move

Playboy Enterprises Inc disclosed in a Wednesday regulatory filing that upcoming cost-cutting measures will include eliminating 55 jobs at the Chicago publishing and entertainment concern. Playboy also included in the filing a copy of a “Dear Fellow Employees” letter sent out to workers Wednesday, in which Chairman and Chief Executive Christie Hefner said the economy’s deterioration make it “unavoidable that we reduce our cost structure to reflect current economic realities.” Hefner’s letter spells out a number of cost-cutting moves, including consolidating facilities and reducing travel outlays and overtime. “Unfortunately,” she continued, the changes will also mean the elimination of about 80 positions in the company…”

Wow. 80 positions. I hope they hang on to Reverse Cowgirl…that one’s a keeper. You know things are crappy when people can’t even afford to jerk off anymore. These are dark times we live in. Which is why it’s so important to vote. See, this is the kind of public (I said “public”) service announcement that’ll get people to the polls…use one hand to pull the lever, so the other may yank the crank (message pending approval).

I found a couple bits of video that’ve helped me make up my mind. Check out Obama at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation dinner. It’s ten minutes long, but it’s an engaging ten minutes…stick with it…

He crushed. I expected him to drop the mic and walk off stage when he was done. I’m not a big issue guy. When it comes to picking a presidential candidate, I’m like a girl on Match.com…sense of humor is, like, sooo important. I think it shows a capability for abstract thought that is important in a leader. Besides, in order to be effective, you have to be, at the very least, charismatic. I have some problems with McCain, which are purely superficial, but that’s how I roll. First, he says “Warshington”. Learn to pronounce it first, then maybe we’ll let you live there. Also, he whistles his esses when he talks…irks the everloving crap out of me. When I close my eyes, Obama sounds presidential…McCain sounds like a cartoon squirrel. And have you seen Cindy McCain? She creeps me right the fuck out. She looks like Goldie Hawn from Death Becomes Her



And don’t get me started on Sarah Palin…

Ok, enough politics. Here’s one thing we can all agree on, Bruce Campbell is a bad ass. He’s got a new flick coming out soon, called My Name Is Bruce. I’ll let the trailer speak for itself…

It’s coming to DC for one night and one night only at the Landmark on E St. on November 15th. Save the date.

Before I go, I must plug the big comedy show at the DC Improv Comedy Lounge on Saturday. Myself, John McBride, Erik Myers, and Joe Robinson will be on stage for your viewing pleasure. The weather is supposed to be wet and miserable, so let a smile be your umbrella and come laugh at us. Click the link for tix and info.

To be continued…