Take a Look, It’s in a Book…

Hey there ‘Redheads… Happy Hump Day to you and yours. Since I started writing this blog on a weekdaily basis, you might have noticed that, on some days, the content can be a little thin. There’ve been some days where flies have been buzzing around the blog’s eyes. So, I’m a big fan when the news drops a turnip in my lap from which I can squeeze some blood…

From the Washington Post: Yet another analog bookseller has taken a step closer to a digital demise. Borders filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy this morning, hoping to restructure its finances and reboot its operations.

That’s right, folks, Borders has filed for Chapter 11. Why don’t they just wait for the movie to come out? I’m guessing that’s not Chapter 11 of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” Don’t spoil it for me. I haven’t gotten past Chapter 3 yet. Gee, I wonder where Borders could find information about navigating a bankruptcy? If you go to a Borders and there’s a copy of “Bankruptcy For Dummies” left on the shelf, then they’re just not trying. I bet there’s at least one guy in Arizona who woke up this morning, saw the story about Borders closing and said, “‘Bout time.” What sucks is, most people probably read this story online. Everything is online now. I’m not writing this with a quill and ink. It’s only a matter of time before books are quaint relics. It stinks, but it’s true. Our culture is lazy, and books are heavy. You can put an entire library on an iPad now. This is bad news for a large segment of our economy. Makers of bookshelves and sassy bookmarks will have to find a new skill set. The loss of Borders is a mixed blessing, if you think about it. That’s one less place where people can buy Snooki’s book.

Speaking of light reading, I passed a sign on the beltway that said “DUI Enforcement Area”. That seems to imply that in every other area, they’ll just let it slide.

See you Thursday.

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Bookish

Hey there ‘Redheads… I’ll go ahead and admit it, this installment is a bit of a cop out. I’m not quite feeling the usual blog vibe, so here’s a list of fake book titles instead. I’ll be back to my regularly scheduled random ramblings next time. Enjoy…

Eugenics For Dummies

Everything You Wanted To Know About Rhetorical Questions, But Were Afraid To Ask Yourself

Investment Sperm Banking

A Song in My Heart, A Hand Up My Ass: The Autobiography of Kermit the Frog

12 Steps Back: A Guide to Relapse

Facebook As An Alibi

Even You Can Be Condescending

13 Ways To Conquer Triskaidekaphobia

Happiness Through Better Hatred

Proactive Apathy

Cough Your Way To Six-Pack Abs

Lose Weight While You Eat

Men Are From Mars, Gay Men Are From Uranus

Sell Your Roommate’s Organs

Why The Voices Make A Good Point

Green: Make Money Recycling Mucous

Sell Your Identity For Fun and Profit

Dead Pet Recipes

How To Be Constructively Awful

Your Ass As Ad Space

Live Life Vicariously

Act Tough, Sue Big

Goldschlager: Turn Your Pee Into Riches

How To Take Credit For Really Good Ideas

Treasure Maps In The Bible

The Nerf Cookbook

Ransom As a Second Income

No Brain, No Headache

Do-it-yourself Blood Transfusions

Living Will Mad-Libs

Dyslexics For Book The

Annexing Your Neighbor’s House

The Nutritional Value of Dandruff

Off-Color Hand Gestures

The Ipecac Diet

Make Your Own Breast Implants From Pudding

Office Depot Surgery: From Stomach Stapling to Testicle Paper-clipping

Instant Sleep Over: Fun With Narcolepsy

Sign Language For Double Amputees

The Scratch n’ Sniff Nipple Book

The Where’s Waldo Code

Radiation: The Thin Line Between Super Hero and Cancer Patient

Better Luck Next Time: Why Jesus Has Already Returned and We Probably Killed Him Again

Settling Disputes With Russian Roulette

Ethiopia On 85 Cents A Day

Teaching Your Dog To Pick Up Your Poop

Beatboxing For Stutterers

To be continued…