AsiNine

Hey there, ‘Redheads… It’s the last installment of ’09. I really wish I had something worthwhile and at least knee deep to impart to you as we hurtle into the next decade, but I gave up on trying to be profound a long time ago. I am amatuerfound, at best. I’d also like to be able to reflect back on the year that was, but my mind has the retention of an etch-a-sketch in the hands of an epileptic during a Pink Floyd laser show. In order to reminisce, one must first be able to…minisce. So, let’s discuss the year ahead, 2010. Resolutions perhaps? Well, there are a lot of things I’d like to accomplish. The usual stuff. Advance the comedy career, look less like a tub of goo, blah blah blah. It’s all talk right now, as it has been every year around this time. What I’m saying is, my resolutions aren’t exactly 1080p. One thing I do plan to do is to streamline the blog a bit and make the entries more concentrated and more frequent. I aspire to daily, but let’s take baby new year steps. If you think about it, blogs are the magazines of the next decade, if they weren’t already. Don’t expect a swimsuit issue, but you won’t get those annoying subscription cards, neither.

Maybe I’ll finally write the mediocre screenplay that’s been stewing in my head for all these years. It’s the classic struggle of good vs. evil, with a plucky band of heroes up against unimaginable odds. If I can find a way to shoehorn vampires into it, I think it’ll be worthy of an MTV Movie Award. What I’m trying to say is, dare to dream, people. Or you could just pick random words out of a bingo ball tumbler and write a movie around that, like these guys did…

I hope we finally get some cool sci-fi stuff to finally become reality in 2010. Not that pocket-sized computers aren’t cool, but I was told we’d have hoverboards by 2015 and I want to have a year or so to enjoy them before the impending Mayan apocalypse. Let’s get cracking, science.

Thanks for taking a couple minutes out of your year to check out the blog. Let’s do it again in ’10. See you next year…

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Oh Nine, So Fine

Hey there ‘Redheads… Happy 2009 to ye. Some of you may just be coming out of the groggy haze of your New Year’s Eve hangover…welcome. My eve was low key and low cost…dinner with friends and hopped to a couple different house parties. No cover charges, no wading through a sea of drunks, and no silly hats. Also, I wasn’t in front of a TV until the final countdown and, for some reason, the broadcast of choice was CNN, so I didn’t have to see stroked out Dick Clark awkwardly mumble his way through the end of the year. There was more time to party this year, and I’m not referring to the extra leap second that we were afforded. It was so cold, time slowed down. As I walked to the second party of the evening, my resolution was to make it to ’09 with an even number of ears.

So, we’re a week into the new year and I’m doing what I can to start things off on a good note. I spent the day off cleaning out my apartment…out with the old crap to make room for…new crap. My primary hope for this year is that I can cobble out a calendar of gigs that’ll resemble that of a professional comedian. To that end, allow me to suggest you spend the first weekend of the year laughing in my general direction. I’ll be featuring at one of my favorite clubs, the Baltimore Comedy Factory, this weekend. Three nights, seven shows, and DRINKS ARE ON ME…you heard me. You pay for the laughs and you can grease your collective skids gratis. Simply print out this coupon…


Click the link for tix and info. See you in Charm City…

I’ve got a couple other things I want to cover, but they’ll wait ’til the next installment.

To be continued…