Tuesday Random Crap

Hey there, ‘Redheads… We’ve made it to Tuesday. I’ve been pretty quiet about the world falling to pieces around us over the last couple of weeks, mostly because I’m not terribly well informed and I’ve been too preoccupied to make stuff up. But the Tsunami Roll I got from Harris Teeter tonight got me thinking about the disaster in Japan and the pineapple I ate got me thinking about the situation in Libya. Gadhafi’s going to be really pissed when he finds out the bombs he bought are made out of pinball machine parts. To be fair, if I were him, I’d be ticked off too. Have you seen pictures of him? His face looks like a paper mache art project I made in 5th grade art class…Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka and Edward James Olmos look at him and say, “There but for the grace of God go I.” All I’m saying is, I can understand why he might be on a short fuse. Now, the US is leading the charge into yet another middle eastern country to take down another evil doer. Don’t we employ a team of ninjas or SEALs or the A-Team or G.I. Joe or the goddamn Wonder Twins for stuff like this? There’s gotta be an app for that. It’ll probably cost millions of dollars to uproot this guy with a standard military operation. Put one million on the table and offer it up to the first assassin who can do a halfway decent Chuck Norris impression and it’ll save time, lives, and money. No disintegrations. Better yet, why not send a robot? Like Blinky…

The moral of the story: Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

See you Wednesday.
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