Carma

Hey there ‘Redheads… Before I begin this installment, I’d like to draw your attention to a blog a wrote roughly three years ago. I’ve italicized it, so your attention can’t help but be drawn to it…

This blog is for venting… Do not adjust your computer screens…

FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCKFUCKFUCK

My car was stolen today. Right in front of Stately Stern Manor. And if I wasn’t such a ball of sloth, it could’ve been avoided. Apparently, a guy had stolen another car… The engine started smoking, so he decided to dump that car. He did so in my parking lot, and my car was the next most available means of conveyance. FUCK.
I was inside all day, either watching football or playing it on PS2 (Go Skins in both mediums, btw). My parents are out of town for the week, on a vacation that was designed so they would be incommunicado and not have to deal with bullshit like this. If I had gotten off my ass to go feed their fish at an earlier point, this might never have happened… Some other poor shnook would’ve been out of luck on Hanukkah Eve. Or, I would’ve been in the vicinity of my car when this guy was trying to steal it. FUCK.
Luckily, aside from a couple CD’s (and if my insurance company is reading this: my golf clubs, my laptop, my plasma tv, and my bag of gold bullion), nothing terribly valuable was in the car. It’s just a big headache. FUCK.
The next entry will be funny and insightful… We now return you to your regularly scheduled whatever the hell you were doing…

So, apparently, one of my loyal readers really liked that blog, and decided to celebrate it’s third anniversary by staging a reenactment. Yep, my car was stolen…again. And things were going moderately well this week, too. I won a poker tournament, went to a fancy schmancy holiday party with a sundae bar, and got the high score on my iPod Tetris game. Now, this aggravation has brought all that semi-decent mojo to a grinding halt. Reduced to a pile of tinted glass shards on the pavement where my car used to be. That’d be almost poetic if it weren’t so aggravating. If it ends up playing out like it did three years ago, the cops’ll find it in SE DC with minor damage and with the abandoned spoils of a low rent crime spree inside. Here’s hoping.

But don’t cry for me, Argentina. I’m no charity case. Here’s a cause that everybody should get behind…speaking of theft…

Remember, for all of your ribald Hanukkah celebration needs, there’s a great show at the Birchmere this Sunday. The merry mensches,Good For The Jews, will be lighting things up and your friendly neighborhood bloggerino is opening for them. Click the links for tix and info.

See you there…

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