Caution: Road Work

Greetings ‘Red Heads… Just got done with another slate of out-of-town shows with road warrior, Mike Diesel. We did a show in the Mountainlair at WVU on Thursday night for a crowd of students that can only be described as spiritless. Maybe I’m just out of touch with the youth of today, but getting more than a timid chuckle out of these kids was like getting gum out of your hair…it took some cuttin’.
From Morgantown, WV, we trekked north to Broadalbin, NY for a couple shows at what was left of the Funny Farm since it recently changed ownership. The club used to be located in a very cool refitted barn…it held about 150 people and it had a condo above the club where the comics stayed. It was a great atmosphere for comedy…and convenient since it was easy to just stumble upstairs after a night of drunken carousing with staff and audience. Well, the club is now for sale, and a pale shell of its former self. We were still housed in the condo, but the club below was gutted, dark, and vacant. The new location was 6 miles down the road at a restaurant that held about 70 people, tops.
This was my second weekend of four in a row of comedy work. One of my goals for this year was to book at least 26 weekends of work. I’ve managed 13 so far, so I’m pretty excited about what lay ahead. That excitement may very well give way to exasperation as the well of shows (not to be confused with the Well of Souls, where the Lost Ark was) dries up…or a baby falls in it, or something. This is a business, after all, and my procrastinating nature doesn’t lend well to staying on top of deadlines and other things that I’ll discuss later… see? Luckily, DC is a very supportive comedy network and funny people around here like to see other funny people do well.

I’m watching the State of the Union as I type this. Here’s a fun quote from the President: “There is no peace in retreat and there is no honor in retreat.” Which essentially means, “The best defense is a good offense.” Lovely. During these speeches, half the fun is watching the crowd reaction. As he said something about our terrorist enemies underestimating our resolve, the room erupts in applause (the audience at the State of the Union is easier than a Premium Blend crowd)… the camera cuts to a representative from an Arab country shifting uncomfortably in his seat. The Supreme Court justices are a tight bunch…I haven’t seen them give it up once yet. Perhaps Bush should’ve loosened up the room with, “…anybody celebrating a birthday? anniversary? confirmation?” The Patriot Act line got nothing from the right half of the room. Now he’s doing his wiretapping bit. I think I heard it on Mind of Mencia the other night…

Here’s some disturbing science news:
A chemical used in the making of Teflon has been found to be a “likely” carcinogen. Doctors are rushing to find a way to combat the expected outbreak of non-stick tumors. In other health news, it has also been found that excessive drinking also causes cancer. Yes…if you excessively drink Teflon.

I was thumbing through the dictionary (play along) and I found a glaring example of Webster getting lazy:

inconspicuous adj – not conspicuous

Hey Emmanuel Lewis, if I’m looking up inconspicuous, chances are I’m not stuck on what “in” means. Get off your stack of phonebooks and fix this conspicuous example of crappy reference. Sorry for the nitpickery, folks, but that bugged me.

To be continued…

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